By Victoria Pearson Entertainment 25.04.2026

I’ve Been A Celebrant For 10 Years – Here Are the Wedding Details Guests Actually Notice

After nearly a decade of marrying couples, one thing has become very clear: guests won’t remember literally everything – but they will remember how a wedding made them feel.

I became a celebrant in 2016, driven by the fairly simple idea that ceremonies could feel more personal; less like something being delivered at a couple, and more like something built with them. And with a background in writing, I’ve taken to approaching weddings as an act of translation: taking the texture of a relationship and shaping it into something recognisable and human.

Since then, I’ve officiated more than 140 weddings. It’s still, easily, the most joyful part of my professional career. But having also planned my own wedding in 2022, I understand just how quickly the process can become overwhelmed by decisions – and how easy it is to prioritise how a wedding looks, or can be marketed on social media, over how it actually feels. Because while a wedding is, and should, of course, be, about the couple, it’s also an experience you’re hosting. And when you step back, the things guests carry with them afterwards are surprisingly consistent.

It’s Not What You Did – It’s How It Felt

I acknowledge this is an overused cliché, but it doesn’t make it any less truthful: people remember how you made them feel. And at weddings, that often comes down to comfort. Were they idling in direct sun for an hour? Waiting too long for a drink? Unsure of the proceedings or where the bathrooms are or where to go next? A visually perfect wedding can unravel if guests are uncomfortable. Ease – physical and logistical – is what allows people to actually settle into the day. Shade, seating, water, clear direction: sure, these are the details that won’t translate into your photography, but in my opinion they define the entire experience.

Food!

I hate to be that person that tells you it’s important to think about the food details and timings, but it’s one of the most reliably remembered elements of any wedding – and not just because if you expect your loved ones to raise the roof with you at 11.45pm to Love Shack you need to fuel them. Food sets the pace, enhances the mood, determines whether guests are energised enough to stay engaged or quietly checking the time. (I will probably be outvoted here but I think food matters more than booze – guests are more likely to make do with a sub-par Pinot Noir than they are a soggy canapé or a prawn that’s been sitting for too long in the heat).

This doesn’t mean the food needs to be over-the-top. It just needs to be thoughtful: enough of it, served at the right moments, suited to the setting. A long stretch without food is almost always where the energy dips and once it goes, it’s hard to recover.

Detail's from writer Victoria Pearson's wedding.

Find the Flow

I acknowledge this sounds cynical and I want to preface with the affirmation that marriages are not show business, but weddings, on paper, are show business. They’re essentially costumes, timing, lines delivered just-so. And a really great wedding has a rhythm to it – one that feels virtually invisible when it’s working. Guests don’t consciously clock the logistics, but they’ll appreciate the smooth transition from ceremony to drinks, the absence of long, undefined gaps, the sense that there is a structure (even if it’s a loose one) of the day. Not to blow out your budget, but if it’s within your means to delegate this responsibility and bring a one-the-day coordinator or producer on board, I highly recommend it.

Music That Feeds All Souls

I’m fairly medium-agnostic when it comes to music – a great band, a DJ, even a well-curated playlist can all work. What matters more, I believe, is range. A setlist that only caters to one demographic is a fast way to thin out a dance floor. The sweet spot is music that engages both your friends and your extended family – the songs that make people feel comfortable enough to let go a little and, as pop culture prophet Natasha Benningfield warbled, release your inhibitions.

Detail's from writer Victoria Pearson's wedding.

A Ceremony That Feels Like You

There is obvious bias inherent in this one and, granted, your guests will definitely not remember every word of your ceremony, but they will certainly remember if it felt disconnected from you as a couple, or your experience. And the ones that really resonate are rarely the most elaborate – they’re just generally the most specific, grounded in details that could only belong to that couple. Think of it less about the performance of romance and more about honesty.

Furthermore (sorry, I have a lot of feelings here), the ceremony shouldn’t feel like a part of the day you want to “just get through to move on to the party” – it should ideally feel like something you’re looking forward to, and a moment that sets the tone for the rest of the day. It’s OK to be demanding of your celebrant, or to set those expectations early, and work with them to create something that genuinely sounds like the two of you. Your guests will feel this immediately, and will move through the rest of the wedding buoyed by the love and laughs and authenticity of the ceremony. Trust me!

All the small things

The best weddings I’ve been to find shape through a series of small, thoughtful decisions. It might be a drink waiting after the ceremony, or enough seating during cocktail hour, or clear signage, or transport that arrives and runs when it should, or a late-night snack appearing at exactly the right moment. Individually, they’re minor. Together, they create a sense of care and cohesion that makes guests relax into the event.

I offer you this case in point: In the lead-up to my own wedding I had seen another couple (via social media) create each of their guests a hand-written card placed upon their table setting. As a writer myself (who had loosely orchestrated their own wedding around the theme of “love notes”) this really appealed to me. Never mind that we had 126 guests and a dwindling time frame within which to pull this off! I felt in my bones it was going to be an important gesture.

My now-husband and I spent the week prior to our wedding penning every single guest an individual note, which we then wax sealed inside place card envelopes with names calligraphed on the front. When I say this experience nearly broke us up prior to even walking down the aisle, I mean it – my husband reminded me frequently how much less stressed we’d be if we simply… didn’t do it. But we got there, and on-the-day (and still four years later) friends and family remarked how nice it was to read our personalised thank yous on the night. We have no regrets – short term pain, long term gain, etc – and if a small, slightly unhinged gesture is enough to make your nearest and dearest feel genuinely loved and appreciated for the effort they’ve made to celebrate you, it’s probably worth it.

I’m not suggesting everyone needs to do this. But I do think it’s worth finding small ways to remind people what you’re actually celebrating – and what it means to have them there, sharing in it with you for one very good night.